


accidentally married

by sadie18



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Fluff, Hogwarts Era, Hogwarts Seventh Year, M/M, Marriage, Partying, there are other characters but ceebs, this borderline crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 20:23:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16919787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadie18/pseuds/sadie18
Summary: every year, there was an accidental marriage, and every year, it was hilarious





	accidentally married

**Author's Note:**

> don't ask me what this is this is horrible

Marcus Flint wasn't afraid of many things, but he could safely say that the Slytherin Open-House party Christmas party was at the top of his list.

The one time of year Slytherin let other houses into their household, a truce was held, and it was a tradition forged when the very, very drunk James Potter and Regulus Black accidentally got married at Hogsmeade a Christmas many years ago at the first party of it's kind. Since then, a Gryffindor and a Slytherin had _accidentally_ gotten married every year.

It got wilder every year, and every year, and professors  _had_ to know they went on, but they seemed to turn a blind eye.

It was fun for maybe the first five minutes he attended, in fourth year, highly underage but welcome, until he and Graham were stuck in a room with two drunk seventh years fucking on a couch two meters away from them.

Worst thing? They knew they were there. 

He'd been permanently scarred. Sadly, due to status quo and the fact that it was the last one he'd ever be required to attend, he was going this year. And he was going to have fun. 

Or so Cassius told him. 

"Oh, Potter's a fourthie this year!" Bletchley had announced gleefully in the locker room. "Malfoy is going to have a field day!"

Marcus would attend three of those parties just to see Malfoy embarrass himself in front of Potter again. Disgusting little gremlin. 

* * *

 

As soon as he walked in, he was fed a vile image of Fred Weasley and Cedric Diggory snogging on the couch. 

It was already in full swing, with people of all houses dancing, drinking, and smoking. The music hurt his ears, and he squinted. 

"Marcus!" Terence roared, holding two cups. "Take one!" 

Marcus sighed, took the cup from him, and had a sip. The whiskey burnt his throat a bit, but it was warm sliding down his throat, and he let the feeling spread over his body. 

"Get caught under the mistletoe yet?" Marcus yelled over the music. Terence shook his head. 

"I'd rather not."

Marcus knew Terence only had eyes for Adrian Pucey anyways. 

He scanned the dance floor, looking for familiar faces. Angelina Johnson was grinding up against Fred Weasley. Katie Bell and Alicia Spinnet were smoking in the corner, whispering something that made them fall into peals of laughter. Harry Potter was talking to-  _was that Pansy?_ They were just chatting, her head in his lap. Marcus would've been worried for Malfoy's feelings had he known that Pansy wasn't a raging lesbian. 

And then he saw Oliver Wood and Percy Weasley. 

For fucks' sake, they looked  _good._

Oliver was wearing a simple white shirt and jeans, and he was obviously a little tipsy, the way he danced with Percy and Hermione.

He was talking with Lee Jordan, his arm around Cho Chang.

Marcus took another sip of his drink. 

He chatted amicably with Graham for a bit, neither of them particularly drunk quite yet.

"Who'd you think is gonna get married this year?" Marcus asked, eyes still drifting over to a white shirt.

"There are- ah- bets." He answered vaguely, taking a sip from his red solo cup. Marcus didn't think much of it. 

Two more cups and a game of beer pong later, he was feeling rather warm, and fanned himself. 

"Flint!" Angelina Johnson and Katie Bell walked over and plopped down on either side of him. "You're looking warm."

On any other day, Marcus would've snarled at them to fuck off. But today, there was a truce, he was drunk, and it was almost Christmas. So he didn't.

"I  _am_ warm." Was what he said instead. 

"We'll help you with that!" They chorused, and suddenly, Marcus' shirt was ripped and on the floor, and he was left with his chest bare and still feeling rather warm. 

"Bugger," he said stupidly, and they left, giggling. 

"What was  _that_ about?" Adrian Pucey asked confusedly. His own shirt was ripped at the hem, but he didn't seem to notice.

"They thought I looked too warm." Marcus said, and he got to his feet. "I'm getting another drink."

As he walked through the doorway, pushing past someone, he felt himself get pulled back rather harshly. 

Percy cheered. "Mistletoe!" And in seconds, there was a small crowd forming around the doorway, hooting and hollering, before he even saw who he'd had the misfortune of shoving past. 

White shirt. Jeans. 

Oliver Wood.

"Holy shit!" Marcus exclaimed, almost falling down from the shock. "You?"

"Me." Oliver groaned. "We're stuck."

"Just kiss and get it over with!" Draco Malfoy catcalled. That was going to be ten extra laps at training.

"Fine." Marcus said. He was drunk, and could drink more, and he wouldn't even remember it in the morning, and he swiftly leant down and pecked Oliver on the lips.

Oliver squawked. "What the  _fuck!"_

"Don't know about you, but I have better things to then stand under a doorway all night." Marcus turned to walk off. Until again, he was pulled backwards. 

"Can't be a peck, boys." Fred chortled. "It's a mistletoe of our making. Literally. You'll have to make out."

It was now Marcus' turn to squawk. " _What!_ " 

Fred just shrugged, a little apologetic. "Sorry. I thought I was going to get Harry and Malfoy under it."

" _Fred!"_ Harry squealed, aghast. 

Marcus looked at Oliver, who looked at him. The music and the cheering was so loud it was almost silent. 

That didn't make sense. 

Oliver snatched the whiskey Lee was holding a meter away, and let it slide down his throat, before leaning in to kiss Marcus. 

It tasted like too much alcohol, too much noise, too much sweat, and it was a  _sensory overload_. 

When they finally came up for air, Fred and George were clutching each other and screaming, Percy had thrown up from shock and Angelina and Bletchley were doing a funky dance. 

"After such a spectacular show, why don't you two try beer pong!" Katie put a hand on each of their backs and pushed them to the table, and it didn't really sound like they had much of a choice.

* * *

Not even an hour later, they were holding hands, giggling like schoolgirls, and walking down Hogsmeade street. 

"You're like- like, the only one that gets it!" Oliver stage-whispered. It was below freezing outside. "Quidditch is not  _just a sport_. It's  _life!"_

"Yes!" Marcus punched the air with his free hand. "Nobody else cares! But it's just- I can't live without it!"

They were drunkenly relieved to get inside, the warmth of the small chapel enveloping them. 

The officiator sat there, on the bench, rolling his eyes at the two boys who stumbled in. Every, single year, there was another one, and every single year, he was there to officiate them, and then annul them the morning after. 

Well,  _some_ of them. 

"We'd like to get married, please." Oliver said matter-of-factly, after tripping over one of the steps. Marcus nodded enthusiastically. 

"Alright boys, hold your hands together." The officiator said, sighing fondly. Every. Single. Year.

"Marcus, you know, I kinda already had a crush on you anyways." Oliver babbled, and the officiator raised his eyebrows. Enemies at the beginning of the night? Those were always the best ones.

"I like you too!" Marcus declared, but then shushed himself. " _Shhh._ Don't tell anyone though. Wood will take the piss."

"Marcus, I  _am_ Wood."

"Oh  _yeah._ I like you anyways!"

When the vows were said (after what seemed like a century), they stumbled out of the chapel, and back down the street.

The officiator smiled. 

They may annul in the morning, but they'd be visiting the chapel again in a few years from now.

 


End file.
